Forest Gump

If you have never seen this movie, do so soon. If you have seen it, watch it again soon. This is one clarifying, purifying, rejuvinating movie. My eyes are swollen from crying and my side hurts from laughing but I'm so glad I watched "Forest Gump" yet again. This movie puts life, in all its up and downs, in perfect perspective!

A Blessing

".... May you be embraced by God,
in whome dawn and twilight are one, and may your belonging inhabit its deepest dreams within the shelter of the Great Belonging."
John O'Donohue

Religion and Spirituality

"I believe there is an important distinction to be made between religion and spirituality. Religion I take to be concerned with belief in the claims to salvation of one faith tradition or another-an aspect of which is acceptance of some form of meta-physical or philosophical reality, including perhaps an idea of heaven or hell. Connected with this are religious teachings or dogma, ritual, prayers and so on. Spirituality I take to be concerned with those qualities of the human spirit-such as love and compassion, patience, tolerance, forgiveness, contentment, a sense of responsibility, a sense of harmony, which bring happiness to both self and others."
-His Holiness the Dalai Lama

How would you distinguish between "religion" and "spirituality"?

What Color Of Green Are You?

You Are Apple Green

You are almost super-humanly upbeat. You have a very positive energy that surrounds you. And while you are happy go lucky, you're also charmingly assertive. You get what you want, even if you have to persuade those against you to see things your way. Reflective and thoughtful, you know yourself well - and you know that you want out of life.

What Color Green Are You?

I really don't think this is my color but I've gotten it twice now. Does this sound vaguely like my enneagram confusion angst? The only thing that sounds like me is the "reflective and thoughtful" part. lol I am not super-humanly upbeat or happy go lucky. I don't always get what I want. Oh well, there must be some corner of my psyche that is apple green.

Splendor Over Broken Glass
Ageless times ago my Babka told me
so --that the forces at work inside of me
held abundance.

As a child I found her stories sounded
like Christian fairy tales.

Now as a grandmother, I know abundance
comes during times of stillness
and from a mind
alert to wisdom's brief moments.

What appears as disease,
divorce or loss,
is possibility disguised
waiting for an action or reaction.
Even injustice that ends in death --
closely holds rebirth.

Like splendor over broken glass
opportunities emerge
mysterious.

from "A Crone's Crossing", Mary Fogarty

WhatNots

These WhatNots sit on top of the corner bookshelf in my "College in the Closet". Where did the word "WhatNot" come from? Is it even in the dictionary? A little history on my WhatNots, left to right and back around:

Swan... holding my burdens and annointed with lavender
Tiny bottle of bubbles...I keep them on hand for celebrations
Angel...a gift from the heart of someone special
Gold Treasure Box...made by my youngest daughter and it holds more WhatNots
Red Candle...given by a friend
Red & Pink Stone...given by a friend
Stamp...with Mother Teresa's words, "Every act of Love is a work of Peace..No matter how small!"

P.S. According to Webster,
Whatnot: 1)a nondescript or indescribable thing or, sometimes person
How would you like to be called a "Whatnot"?
2)a set of open shelves, as for bric-a-brac
OH DEAR, now I must go look up....
Bric-a-brac: 1)small, rare, or artistic objects placed about a room
2)knickknacks
OH DEAR, now I must go look up...
Knickknacks: A small ornamental article or contrivance: gimcrack
OH DEAR, what is a "Gimcrack"?
Gimcrack: An ornament, showy but cheap or useless
Well, Well, I hope you learned as much as I did on this little rabbit trail!
Technically the Title of this post should be "Bric-a-Brac on a Whatnot" but I think I'll leave it at WhatNots and call it a night!

Rocking the Boat

I read the following analogy, regarding co-dependency, HERE.

"....I never liked to "rock the boat." What if it tipped over? Who would help me to get it back up straight? How would I handle other's reactions? Especially those in the boats around me, since I'd have made ripples in the water we shared. Oh my goodness - others might get angry at me! Gasp! Or act in ways that might cause either of us pain.

So, is it good to never make the water ripple? Good for whom? It certainly isn't good for me when I am feeling unhappy and controlled by external forces beyond myself. I was out of control of my own craft. I never knew quite where I was going...

I didn't steer my boat of life without checking with other boaters in my waters to make sure I didn't cause a ripple effect. Though inevitably this is most impossible. Sometimes I hit a rock (I am tired, or am not seeing the results I want), sometimes I collided with another boat. My boat rocked - yet, I tried hard to first steady the other boat - at any cost. My cost.

It is very expensive to maintain such smooth waters. Much of my energy is used up. It is hard work trying never to ripple the waters or the other boaters. Much harder work than paddling along and simply deciding how I'm going to steer my course when I do hit one of life's inevitable rocks. Maybe I could let my boat run over the rocks and see what happens. If what happens is destructive to me, I could steer my boat away from the rocks (remove myself). My choice. Same thing if I collide with another boater.

I have the option of expending my energy to right the other boater's craft, or I might firmly tell the other boater, "This is not okay, this way is not working for me." Then I could listen to the boater's response. The boater may resist, or may listen.

Maybe it is time to sit for a while and enjoy the sun. I don't have to allow my boat to capsize. Nor do I have to adjust my course because the other boater is not happy with my boat - unless, of course, I truly want to adjust my course. I certainly no longer adjust my course because the other boater is not happy with my course when I know my course is right for me!

The other boater may eventually be ready to discuss how we may both float around the river in harmony. Maybe the boater could decide on a neutral place that can work for both of us. Or maybe the other boater will decide that the best option is for us to have minimal contact at present. Or that our contact will limit itself just enough to keep the waters flowing around other boats we may have in common.

This boater and my boat may never totally agree with each other. But perhaps they can decide that while they both are paddling in different directions, they are aiming towards the same destination. Therefore at times it is better for each to stay on its own path and only meet when absolutely necessary. Or not. For now. Or forever, as time will tell.

Though one thing is for sure, each boater needs to "Trust in Thy Self", and know they can handle whatever decision they make to follow their own navigation system and the consequences associated with their path.
If my boat is going where I want it to, then its likely the right path for me. If I don't like where I'm going, then maybe I need to adjust my course. If I cross paths with another boat, each of us individually must decide how to steer our respective courses. What ever direction I choose to steer my boat towards is the pathway I create. I may never know where the pathway may lead, but I will know I am in control of my own rudder. I am responsible. I am in control of the only thing I have any control over: me!

And that is all I need to work on.

Each boater is responsible for his own craft's course. Neither knows the outcome, so why trust those outside of the Self for answers? Only time will tell if the chosen path produces the desired results. Oh, it's OK to hear the other boater's opinion and weigh it, but...
No boater can tell another what steps will be the "right" ones. It is all just predicting, and predictions are never guaranteed. I think I'd rather trust my own hunches than someone else's.

So each boater can do no better than to trust it's own rudder. There are no guarantees...
Knowing there are no guarantees, why put your boat in some other captain's hands? Who knows where you want to go better than you do?

TRUST THY SELF! And look at where you can go!

Conflicted Enneagram?

Allrightee, a year ago when I took the enneagram test I came out a cross between a TWO and FOUR. Some friends that know me didn't think I was a four. Most women/mothers are conditioned to be a TWO. This morning, just for grins and after reading a friends blog where she talked about being a FIVE, I decided to go online and take the freebie short test. To unnamed friend, I also have the FIVE characteristic of reading tons of books and doing lots of research. Anyway, during this mornings test I tried super hard to be honest about my character and with a therapy session under my belt, I did change a couple of answers after some honest reflection. Instead of getting a "clearer" reading, I got multiple personalities. I had a 3-way tie between TWO, FOUR and SIX. If I averaged them that would make me a FOUR. Perhaps I shall never REALLY know my enneagram number. What number are you if the thought of never knowing concerns you?

free enneagram test

free enneagram test

free enneagram test
What number are you?

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

I stole this from Ampersand's blog. She finds the coolest stuff!

Ampersand suggested we all do a "13 Guilty Pleasures" list and since I'd feel guilty if I didn't take her up on the offer, well here we go!

1)Staying in my robe until lunch.

2)Reveling in the knowledge that it is spring break and I don't have to do any grading of papers or runnings kids to classes and yet, dh doesn't get a spring break from work.

3)Hitting the send button at amazon.com, all the while knowing I have 5-6 new books(from amazon.com) that I haven't had time to read yet.

4)Real butter.

5)Massages....I love them but the expense causes guilt afterward.

6)Staying up till 3 am, reading, knowing I'll be exhausted the next day but doing it anyway.

7)Weekend getaways ALONE, sans kids or husband.

8)Not going to church on Sunday, rather going down to the gazebo to meditate, journal, read, ponder and listen to the birds.

9)Taking classes: art, spiritual, writing, cooking

10)Weekend getaways with girlfriends

11)Keeping a fire going all day when it's really not that cold outside

12)Filet Mignon and Lobster

13)Buying Oprah magazines off the rack instead of subscribing

Susan

I Am From...

I am from catching fireflies in a mayonnaise jar on warm summer nights. I am from banana popsicles dripping down skinny arms and falling asleep to the hum of the air conditioner. I am from bedtime stories read aloud by my Mama and perfect bbq chicken cooked over charcoal by my Daddy. I am from playing "trolls" with my little sister, dressing up my fat cats and making big wishes upon the first star. I am from parents that loved each other and the security that bestowed.

I am from Southern Baptist roots, hellfire and brimstone, Lottie Moon offerings and missionaries from mysterious places, noisey church socials, "Jesus loves the little children", thrice baptized just to make sure and I am from questions. I am from EFree, the Vineyard, the Toronto Blessing, intercession, praise and worship, dreams that speak for God and I am from questions. I am from Bible studies, lots of home groups, out there workshops, spiritual seeking and I am from questions. I am from walking the labrynth, opening the closed doors, seeing the Oneness and I am making peace with the questions.

I am from the South. I am from the Gulf Coast of Texas, mosquitos that swarm you, beach water that warms you, moss filled oak trees that shelter you, jumbo shrimp and handcranked ice cream that fills you and hurricanes that change your life. I am from a large extended family of aunts, uncles and cousins that shared feasts at Thanksgiving and cookouts in the summer. I am from playing "Annie, Annie Over", "Hide and Seek" and "Dodge Ball" with my cousins. I am from sleeping on cots under the stars at Huntsville State Park and from playing teacher with my big blackboard and dolls. I am from big paper bags filled with Halloween candy collected on a fun-filled night, from days of bycicle riding with my best friend Judy, from nights of clandestinely watching television through the crack in the hallway door. I am from climbing trees, reclining under trees and playing in treehouses. I am from weekly trips to the library and summer afternoons of reading.

I am from dancing in my go-go boots to Nancy Sinatra's "These Boots Are Made For Walking", from drill team dancing at Friday night football games, from country western dancing in old wooden buildings, fom disco dancing under sparkly strobe lights and from slow dancing to "Surfer Girl" in the high school gym. I am from county fairs; riding my high school's float in the parade, marching in the parade, feeling my stomach drop as the ferris wheel went over the top, feeling sorry for the animals in the rodeo and sharing sticky cotton candy with my boyfriend.

I am from the land, from grandparents that were farmers, parents that did not want to be and the longings I had to return . I am from grandmothers that grew hollyhocks and tomatoes, irises and strawberries, pear trees and okra. I am from farmers markets on Saturday, from picking peaches in the orchard and blackberries along the railroad tracks. I am from lasagna beds, raised beds, square foot gardening and planting vegetables with my kids.

I am from two generations that didn't go to college. I am from working hard to pay for a college education, from college capers with girlfriends, from learning the hard way, from dancing to Willie Nelson at the Broken Spoke, to margaritas and mexican food on Sixth Street, to flying kites at Zilker park, to the orange victory light in the tower at University of Texas, to running the Capital 10,000, to hearthighs and heartbreaks, to driving with the windows down and singing "Ride Like the Wind", to receiving my Bachelors and the victory that it represented.

I am from YUPPYville, two piece suits with bowties, tall high rises and cubicles, EEO reports and conducting interviews, moving up the ladder, avoiding advances of bosses, and falling in love with the dark eyed guy that worked with my roomate.

I am from the StayAtHome Moms Club, four darling children, chubby hands bearing flowers, tea times to treasure, homeschooling highs and lows and laughter to last a lifetime. I am from family vacations at the lakehouse, tubing at Schlitterbahn, cheering for my children and crying sometimes too.

I am from the highs and lows of marriage, making lemonade from lemons, understandings that keep me going, silent ships passing in the night, fun filled ballroom dancing, memories that have multiplied and till death do us part.

I am from backburners and moving things forward. I am from seekers, explorers, travelers, writers and artists...all those that dream inside of me. I am from deep friendships and forever family. I am from living in the balance and finding joy in the journey.

Namaste,
Susan

Need Direction?

Labyrinth Walking Online

"I believe happiness and joy are the purpose of life. If we know that the future will be very dark or painful, then we lose our determination to live. Therefore, life is something based on hope...
An innate quality among sentient beings, particularly among human beings, is the urge or strong feeling to encounter or experience happiness and discard suffering or pain. Therefore, the whole basis of human life is the experience of different levels of happiness. Achieving or experiencing happiness is the purpose of life."
His Holiness the Dalai Lama

Come visit me....

here! This is my new home and where I'll be spending most of my time, for the forseeable future. I hope you will stop by and say "Howdy".

Carpe Diem!
Susan

Another Day!

Lately, I've been thinking about what it means to "wake up" and how we do that all our lives. Look here. We wake up to new understandings, to new goals, to new ways of loving and living. I was visiting "Mice and Moonbeam's" blog and discovered an awesome James Taylor song that I'd never heard before. The title is "Another Day" and I can't get over how nicely it meshes with some of my thoughts of late. James was kind enough to use my name in his song!

ANOTHER DAY

Wake up Suzy
Put your shoes on
Walk with me into this light
Finally this morning
I'm feeling whole again
It was a hell of a night

Just to be with you by my side
Just to have you near in my sight
Just to walk a while in this light
Just to know that life goes on

Wake up Suzy
Put your shoes on
Walk with me into this light

Another night has gone
Life goes on
Another dawn is breaking
Turn and face the sun
One by one
The world outside is waking

Morning light has driven away
All the shadows that hide your way
And night has given away
To the promise of another day

Another day
Another chance that we may
Finally find our way
Another day

The sun has begun
To melt all our fears away
Another day
Another day

Oh wake up Suzy
Put your shoes on
Walk with me into this light



Here's to WakingUp!

Susan

How old are you?

I AM FIFTY
It feels round in my mouth
and full of energy.

Fifty is a landmark,
to remind me where I have been
to show me where I want to go.

Fifty is a sailboat
waiting for the wind
and sailing forward when it comes.

Fifty if a gift,
a half century of life
and appreciation for the living to come.

How old are you? How does it make you feel?

Susan

PERSPECTIVE!

I woke up and discovered....It's A Small World After All!
Sing it with me, please.

REST

"Night With Her Train of Stars And Her Great Gift Of Sleep"

by Edward Hughes, paints a nice picture of how I am feeling. I need to sleep on this blog for a little while. I am waiting for words to share. I'll be back after a brief respite or when the words come back.
I am continuing on with my photoblog so you can catch me there.

A Different Perspective...

In My Own Language

Valuable message! Be sure and watch the entire video.

Susan